The three good things and the mistake

Smoke fills the room. Secondhand smoke that comes up through my open window.

I look at myself from above. Man, I look so pretty with the crimson skin and golden hair, almost like a Lannister cloak. I'm floating, floating, breath so shallow, smelling like vinegar and summer heat.

You see me from the outside, you see the real me. You say truth in the water, floating, floating, damn those crabs that try to get out. What was it that you said? "You love reading. You are creative. You don't allow yourself to be put down." She said "You are helpful. You have a natural ability to pull yourself out from a situation and look at it objectively, even when the situation is all about you. You are so open-minded and flexible."

Then it was the turn for the mistakes, the turn for the advices. I saw what he said, I saw what she said. I don't want to be that person anymore. I am not insecure, I'm just used to acting like that. I'm not a different person when I'm around strangers, I'm just used to acting like that. Othila inverted said don't stick to the old ways just because. They're not the right behaviour anymore, the situation has changed.

I'm ready to love myself, to see me from above. Head up when I come in the room, everybody's watching and I want to smile. I'm ready to be the best me.

Smoke comes in through the window, blue smoke, heady and strong.

Runa blanca

El universo se abre en patrones de luz ante mí, como una rosa tardía. Mi corazón late, paciente, constante, entre mis pulmones, que se llenan de mundo en cada bocanada. El sol entra por la ventana y ya no se en qué dirección están mis pies. Estallido de color, flores, sexo, la inmensidad contenida entre sus caderas. Manos y rostros emergiendo de la nada vacía, llena. Pidiendo un salto de fe.